‘‘He said he was under the impression that my visa debit was a credit card’: 26-year-old brother uses 16-year-old sister’s card for Amazon purchases, pushing her to warn she’ll report fraud to get her money back

Allowance math meets adult entitlement when a sixteen-year-old's part-time wages vanish into Amazon charges for a twenty-six-year-old brother who treats a shared Prime login like an ATM and a debit card like a family fund.  

This is the sibling discount some people invent. Ask forgiveness, not permission, spend the minor's money, and play dumb about debit versus credit while telling the kid to relax. It is the laziest kind of theft, the kind that shows up as small numbers that matter a lot to the person who earned them. Boundaries only start working when they cost something to cross. Banks call it fraud. Families call it drama. Either way, the lesson lands fastest when consequences are real and in writing. 

Author image for Etai Eshet Etai Eshet
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  • AITA For threatening to report charges on my card that my brother made without my permission as fraud?

    young woman looking at a laptop screen looking shocked and stressed
    via fizkes

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • I (16F) have a brother who's 26. I work part time at a fast food chain. I've been here since I was 14.
    via misslahe
  • The reason I got my job was because I wanted to have my own spending money take take some burden off my mom.
    via misslahe
  • We live off dis lity because my mom has a lot of medical issues and is a liver transplant patient, so she has constant pain.
    via misslahe
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  • She can't even stay sitting up for more than an hour, let alone work a regular job, and my dad who was a banker passed away when I was 8.
    via misslahe
  • She doesn't have much money, so I wanted to make things a bit easier for her. Anyways, here's the deal.
    via misslahe
  • young woman rubbing her eyes next to a laptop computer
    via fizkes

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • I was checking my bank account the other day because I wanted to make sure I had enough money for a big purchase I wanted to make.
    via misslahe
  • When I checked, I saw I only had 9 dollars in my account. I was surprised and confused because | hadn't gone out for the last couple of days.
    via misslahe
  • So I knew there was no way I could've spent that money. I looked at my transactions and saw that I had a charge from Amazon for 32 dollars.
    via misslahe
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  • I immediately knew the transaction wasn't mine, so I went to check my Amazon account to see if somebody had made a mistake and used my card to buy something by accident.
    via misslahe
  • My mom, me, and my 3 siblings all share an Amazon account since my mom pays for prime and it saves us paying for shipping.
    via misslahe
  • Confused girl holding a credit card and a laptop computer looking confused and angry
    via fizkes

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • I looked and soon found a purchase that was the exact dollar amount. When I checked the purchase details, I saw that my visa debit had been used for it.
    via misslahe
  • It was going to my brother's address. I screenshotted the receipt which had the last four digits of my visa on it and the total, and the charge on my bank account and texted him.
    via misslahe
  • I politely told him that he had used my visa debit for his order, fully expecting that he had just made a mistake. He responded: "Yep! That's me!
    via misslahe
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  • Don't worry, I'll give you money, my card doesn't work." I was irritated, but stayed polite and asked him why he didn't ask me for permission.
    via misslahe
  • He left me on read. I then told him that I wouldn't have had any issue with lending him money, but he had to at least tell me.
    via misslahe
  • I also scrolled further back in my bank history and found another Amazon purchase for 36 dollars that had happened over a week ago.
    via misslahe
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  • I checked, and sure enough, my card had been used and the order was to my brothers address. I sent him screenshots of that too.
    via misslahe
  • I got a bit angry and told him that he had done this not once, but twice, and asked him if he had even planned on paying me back.
    via misslahe
  • He said that he did, but also said: "What I needed was time sensitive, and it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission Imaoo".
    via misslahe
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  • That made me angry, but at that point, I couldn't press it further. He lives two hours away, so I couldn't exactly talk to him in person.
    via misslahe
  • I decided to let the issue rest. But about an hour later, he unexpectedly showed up at our house. Since he was physically present and couldn't dodge me,
    via misslahe
  • I pressed him and asked him when he was going to pay me back. He didn't give me a direct answer. He said he would do it soon and told me to just "relax".
    via misslahe
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  • He was acting like I was a nuisance for wanting him to pay back what he took. I told my mom about it, and when she questioned him,
    via misslahe
  • he told her that he was under the impression that my visa debit was a credit card (I'm 16. The legal age for a credit card here is 19.)
    via misslahe
  • I called bulls but my mom told me to leave it be, that he's in a tough financial spot, and that he didn't do it out of malice.
    via misslahe
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  • I was frustrated at that point, but I couldn't exactly force him to pay it back. He left, and I let it be.
    via misslahe
  • It's been a few days now, and my bank account is literally empty. I snapped and texted my brother again.
    via misslahe
  • I told him that what he did was theft and that if he didn't pay me back, I was going to report it to the bank as fraud.
    via misslahe
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  • That was mostly a bluff, I don't actually plan on doing that, I was just hoping that maybe I could scare him.
    via misslahe
  • He told me that I was being bitchy and to stop pestering him. My mom said she's on my side and that he shouldn't have taken it from me,
    via misslahe
  • but told me that he'd pay it back eventually and to just let it go. I'm angry because he took almost seventy dollars from me
    via misslahe
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  • and I feel like my brother is taking advantage of me. Am I the a hle?
    via misslahe

  • Facts are not complicated. Two unauthorized charges to the brother’s address. Screenshots of the last four digits on file. Polite texts answered with jokes and delays. A home visit that produced vibes, not repayment. A mother stuck in the middle who wants peace more than proof and hopes time will fix a balance that is already at nine dollars. Time fixes nothing when someone else controls the checkout.  

  • The smart play is boring and effective. Remove the card from the shared account. Lock the debit for online use. Set alerts for any charge over five dollars. Tell the bank the card was compromised if the spending continues. Tell the brother money is now a contract, not a suggestion, and repayment comes with dates, not vibes. Generosity is not a subsidy. Family is not a loophole. Protect the cash first and the relationship has a chance to grow up later.

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family drama inheritance brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt in laws mother in law sister fiancé grandmother Father
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